“The strong believer is better and dearer to Allah, than the weak believer and in each of them there is good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allah and do not falter. But when you are stricken by some setback, do not say ‘ If only I had done such and such’. Rather, say:
‘It is the Decree of Allah and He does whatever He wills.’
For verily the saying ‘If‘ (i.e. if only I had) begins the work of the devil.’
All praise is due to Allah. May Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon his final Messenger Muhammad and all those who follow his guidance.
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Performing Isthikhaarah & Seeking Advice
Description of Isthikhaarah
Isthikhaarah means seeking good through putting one’s complete trust in Alllah. A believer should perform Isthikhaarah before starting any important undertaking. Since marriage is one of the most important decisions that a person takes, it is important for both the man and woman to perform isthikhaarah before they give the final word that binds them together.
Jabir Bin Abdullah (radiyAllah ‘anhu) reported that Allah’s messenger (sallAllah ‘alaihi wasallam) used to teach his companions to perform isthikhaarah in all of their affairs – as though he was teaching them a surah from the Quran. He told them:
“When one of you is about to do something (important), let him pray two non-obligatory rak’at and then say:
“O Allah, I ask You to choose for me with Your knowledge and decree for me with Your might, and I ask You of Your great favor. Indeed, You decree and I do not, and You know and I do not; You surely are the Knower of all that is hidden. O Allah, if you know that this affair (and he names it) is good for me in regard to my religion, my living, and it’s outcome – both immediate and future, decree it, facilitate it, and then bless it for me. And if You know that this affair is harmful for me in regard to my religion, my living and its outcome – both immediate and future, divert it from me and divert me from it, and decree for me good wherever it may be, and then make me content by it.”
And indeed, never would he regret who asks the Creator to choose for him, and consults with the creation, and ascertains his actions.”
[Narrated by al-Bukhari and others]
From this hadith, it is obvious that the isthikhaarah is a special du’a that has the following characteristics:
1.It is said when intending to perform an important act and just before embarking on that act, with the expectation that Allah will choose the best.
2.It is preceded with a voluntary prayer consisting of two rak’at. One may raise one’s hands while saying it – as is recommended for any du’a.
3.After a person makes isthikhaarah, he should undertake what he was planning to do before it. If that is good for him, Allah would surely facilitate it, otherwise, He would bring about some circumstances to hinder it.
4.Contentment with its outcome may not be felt immediately, but will surely materialize with time.
Misconceptions about Isthikhaarah
1.A misconception concerning isthikhaarah is that it is made when a person is undetermined between two or more alternatives. It is clear from the above hadith that it should only be made after he had decided which of the alternative to undertake.
2.Some people think that one of the important requirements of isthikhaarah is to perform it just before going to sleep, and that some dreams should indicate what to do.
3.Other people think that the isthikhaarah puts in the heart an inclination toward the proper choice.
There is no basis for either of these two assumptions, and the above hadith supports neither. In fact, the hadith indicates that when, as a result of the isthikhaarah, Allah hinders an affair that a person was about to undertake, that might bring some dislike into his heart, and he therefore asks Allah to give him contentment.
Seeking Advice
We have seen from the above hadith that, in addition to isthikhaarah, it is recommended to consult with some knowledgeable people before making an important decision.
Thus it is recommended for the man and woman (or her Wali) to investigate about his or her intended partner, making sure that she or he has the required good attributes.
When a person’s advice is sought in regard to individuals that are considered for marriage, business partnership, etc. he should provide truthful and honest advice. This advice should be limited to matters relevant to the affair in question, and should not be exceeded to other areas because that may then count as a prohibited form of backbiting.
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Quoted from “The Muslim Family 1: The Quest for Love & Mercy - Regulations for Marriage and Wedding in Islam” by Muhammad Mustafaa Al-Jibaly
One who seeks guidance from his Creator and consults his fellow believers and then remains firm in his resolve does not regret, for Allaah has said:
‘...and consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a decision put your trust in Allaah...’ [Surah Aal 'Imraan, 03:159]
